


Unbearable Lightness of Being

by Neferit



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Comfort, F/M, Romance, dA Challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-29
Updated: 2016-03-29
Packaged: 2018-05-29 22:58:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6397405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neferit/pseuds/Neferit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While Elissa Cousland, soon to be Elissa Theirin, hadn’t been in this world for all that long, sometimes she felt as if she had been ancient, given how much she had to push through, having too many close brushes with her own mortality already.</p>
<p>Written for the Art Challenge by getdailydeviations group over at deviantART.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unbearable Lightness of Being

 

 

 

While Elissa Cousland, soon to be Elissa Theirin, hadn’t been in this world for all that long, sometimes she felt as if she had been ancient, given how much she had to push through, having too many close brushes with her own mortality already.

Her parents had been overjoyed when she was born, but soon enough, their joy changed to nearly constant worry, since their beloved child had been so weak and fragile that they almost lost her as soon as she entered their lives.

The worst time had been when she was five - the fever that tortured her little body being so violent that unknowing what more could be done for her, her parents wrapped her into warm blankets and sat with her on the balcony overlooking the the teyrnir, allowing her to see the beauty that had been her family’s lands, and a longing filled her as she gazed upon the sea and rocks, the woods and plains.

She pulled through and slowly, her health improved, the threat of her imminent Death once again removed.

She nearly didn’t survive her next brush with death; the night the Cousland Castle had been attacked by men of Arl Howe, intent on butchering every single one of the castle inhabitants. Only by sheer luck and no small amount of ability, she, her mother and little nephew, son of her older brother, managed to fight through the burning castle (the boy so deeply in shock that all they could do was to leave Elissa’s mabari to protect him, as the women fought their way forward). But even then the journey of all their lives would be final, if not for the Grey Warden who appeared just that day.

Leaving her parents to die, so she and her nephew could live, she felt the Death’s cold fingers brush her cheek, as she carried the small boy in her arms, following after the Warden.

Joining the Wardens, first surviving the Joining when the two other recruits didn’t ( _poor Daveth, so brave in the face of Death_ , stepping forth with such a courage that Elissa felt ashamed for the low opinion she formed of him when she heard he was a thief of all possible people) and afterwards, surviving the Battle of Ostagar left her so close at Death’s door that she felt herself slipping into the cold realm that was Death’s territory. But then a warm hand grasped hers, and pulled her back, to world of pain and things to live for.

For that was who her only surviving fellow Warden was - someone not to die, but live for. _Alistair_. With his lopsided grins, warm brown eyes and silly jokes he was able to pierce the cocoon of numbness that surrounded her since her escape from her burning home.

Yet Death followed close at their steps, finally reaching to grasp both their hearts when they entered the Deep Roads in search of Paragon Branka. Deep Roads; the very same underground, where Grey Wardens went to die. They managed to find the single dwarf in the whole of Deep Roads, and found their way out back to the surface, breathing the fresh air in gulping breaths, chasing the coldness gripping their still beating hearts away, laughing to the sun.

They gathered their allies, and while waiting for the Landsmeet to commerce, she met one of the facets of Death.

Teyrn Usurper, Rendon Howe, had the gall to mock her in the dungeons beneath the estate he took unfairly, his eyes dark and mocking and threatening. Only by dumb luck, and Zevran’s quickness she survived, since the former assassin, hired by no one else than Howe himself, pushed her from the way of Howe’s axe, its blade missing her so closely she couldn’t help but hear the dark promise in the swishing sound.

And then came the Landsmeet, and with it the duel that would decide the fate of all of the Ferelden, of her and Alistair.

The Regent stared at her, and she stared right back, hands gripping her daggers so tightly she was surprised her knuckles didn’t crack broken. Death circled them as they circled each other, assessing the other one’s defences, strengths and weaknesses.

That was when the first strike came, and and everyone’s breathing caught in their throats.

Only when Elissa’s hit knocked Loghain’s sword from his grip did he yield, dropping the shield and raising his hands in clear surrender. Death feasted on his blood, as everyone's attention turned towards the question who would rule Ferelden from now on.

Elissa had a clear answer to that - her palms sweaty and heart wildly beating in her chest, she stood before the Landsmeet and head high, she proclaimed Alistair the next King, and herself ruling by his side.

It was so easy to forget about the Death lurking nearby, when the Landsmeet chamber erupted in cheers so loud one couldn’t hear themselves think, or when Alistair found her in Eamon’s estate, holding her tightly to himself, as he questioned her whether she was sure about marrying him.

Never had she been so sure, she thought as she returned his kisses, already knowing such tender gestures would be scarce in the following days.

Death came with a bang several weeks later, Riordan’s words of Warden’s sacrifice ringing in their ears louder than a Chantry bell, its cold hand once again gripping her heart, choking her with its inevitability.

Was this why she survived this long? Only so she would die for her country, or watch the man she loved die before her eyes?

Morrigan came with a solution; one that left a bad taste in her mouth. Never could she be more grateful to anyone than she would be to her, yet at the same time, for a few seconds she couldn’t hate the witch more than at that moment.

All three of them had been deeply shaken by what happened that night, end of the Blight hanging above their heads, making Elissa cling to her friends now more than ever.

The Battle of Denerim had been long, and seemingly unending; at least until the Archdemon had been forced to land atop of Fort Drakon, pouring new hope into the veins of the united armies.

Presence of Death could be felt everywhere, but as Elissa and her small group pushed forward, for once she didn’t pay it any attention, slashing through everything that stood in her way.

Standing before the dying Archdemon reminded Elissa slightly of facing teyrn Loghain - one single combat deciding the fate of everyone. Squaring her shoulders and gripping a sword in her hands she ran towards the dragon, screaming to Death to take her if it dares, stabbing the dragon’s skull and gazing into its eyes.

Words of Chant of Light, Canticle of Andraste, ran through her head. _Let the blade pass through the flesh, let my blood touch the ground. Let my cries touch their hearts. Let mine be the last sacrifice._

With the last word, a powerful explosion coming from the Archdemon threw her in the air and darkness surrounded her like a soft blanket.

Unlike what everyone ( _but her, Morrigan and Alistair_ ) expected, she survived the battle - worse for the wear, with number of broken, cracked or at least bruised bones and muscles, but blessedly _alive_ and after a few weeks well enough to attend the coronation of Fereldan newest King.

King Alistair Theirin, who looked from his place before the throne with a fond smile, as he watched her slowly walk up the stairs.

In six months, it was decided, she would become his wife, Queen of Ferelden in addition to Hero of Ferelden. Until then, she would make appearances to the public, if she would be well enough to put on an appearance for the adoring public.

The day of their wedding finally came, and there she was, sitting in front of her vanity, gazing upon the image the mirror presented her.

Once upon a time, people often said she looked a lot like Anora; a younger sister perhaps, all blue eyes and blonde hair. It only took a moment to see them side by side, Alistair said, to notice the differences - different shades of blue to their eyes, with Elissa’s hair being more silver than gold, unlike Anora’s, both their stances proud, yet something in Elissa’s bearing screaming authority Anora didn’t carry.

Elissa thought that it was Alistair’s love that made his eyes see that, but the smile that graced her lips had been fond, not mocking as many nobles would have expected.

Walking down the aisle, with Fergus and Oren by her sides, she gazed at Alistair already waiting for her before the priestess, she would have sworn that the Death, always present at the edge of her peripheral vision, backed out, leaving her almost unbearably light, as she ascended the stairs and stood before the Alistair, his silvery blue bride and future Queen.

She knew her own mortality better than anyone else but today, as Alistair kissed her for the first time as her husband, and carried her bridal style down the stairs, she felt _immortal_.


End file.
